10/20/2001 Entry: "I am the Lighthouse, I am the Sea."

I've finally dug out my copy of Mind Bomb by The The. It's been in my mind since BJ mentioned it and indeed it's terribly timely, since it was released around the time the first Bush was in the Whitehouse having a little war; indeed, Armageddon days are here (again). But that's only half of the album. The second half was a great comfort when an exboyfriend and I stopped seeing each other in 1994.

It's also got a perfect moment on it, one of my two-dollar tales of trancendence: I was standing in the Detour with a Rolling Rock, listening to Michael Cruickshank¹ spin his Sunday Night blend of rock and alternative...Looking at handsome men, feeling potent and confident and masculine (not something that always comes easily), and Gravitate to Me came on. A hush came across the room; the guys cruising stopped for a moment, and I could feel the song affect them all, however briefly.

Through the ether and the mists of the mind
You will come to me to lay by my side,
To stroke my hair, To cuddle my flesh,
And to quell the torrents in my subterranean depths.

We all sang the same song, the silent one now manifest above us: gravitate to me. We were all, in our ways, looking for someone to gravitate to, for someone to gravitate to us. I was again in love, not with anyone in particular, but with those potentials of love and lust. I felt a balance for a moment, however brief. It was hardly extraordinary, but it was perfect in its way.

(1. I think that was his name. Sadly, the DJ passed away that year, and I wasn't able to find anything on the Internet about him. So I have to rely on my failing memory.)

Replies: 3 comments

wow! i would kill to have a bar with a dj that would play THAT Song! (well, not kill, but something much more warm and affectionate, of course...)yup, the whole album is great, and yes, even in his cynicism, he managed some incredibly beautiful love songs...

Posted by bj @ 10/22/2001 12:04 AM PST

Totally. Cynicism can sometimes mask a deep and emotional romanticism; a vulnerability that's too sensitive to leave unguarded.

Posted by Casey @ 10/23/2001 05:24 PM PST

I totally agree with BJ -- a bar that plays that album would be kick ass. I need to go dig out that CD. Matt Johnson has the sexiest voice and I used to live to that album constantly back in college. I've always been a big Sinead O'Conner fan and the duet "Kingdom of Rain" is a beautiful showcase of their two voices.

Posted by chris @ 10/25/2001 09:07 AM PST