08/21/2002 Entry: "Nutter."

Today has just gone from insane to delirious. Couldn't get out of bed this morning. Couldn't face the day. I was up far too late, face pressed into the pillow trying to stop obsessing and hating and panicking and hating myself for not being able to let go of the day before long enough to sleep.

Today I find out that I'm not going to be out of the office tomorrow. So I didn't have to try to finish five days of work in three days. The meeting we had to have today (which half the people couldn't attend) could have been tomorrow, when we'll likely have it again anyway. And now I have to replan tomorrow night's trajectory of events, though thankfully they've only been inside my head. There's plenty of good going on too, don't get me wrong. But the chaos that connects it all is very strong indeed.

So I'm feeling a little overextended at the moment. No, Strike that. I am a slave to my Visor right now and it's holding the whip tightly. I feel like I've been Spinning Plates lately. After things have calmed down, I'll have to extend my apologies to all those people who might feel spun.