04/16/2003 Entry: "Peek Inside My Panties."

Here's maybe a little too much information on my psychosexual makeup.

I'm walking down South Van Ness on my way home, and it's starting to get dark. I look over, and there's a man there between two cars with his cock out peeing into the gutter. He's a little heavy-set; not unattractive, necessarily, nor is his large-ish uncircumcised penis. He mutters something at me which I can't quite hear, and does something with his free hand that might be a signal to stop.

The sight of bare cock stuns me enough that, against better judgement, I stop.

As he finishes and puts his dick back in his pants, he repeats himself. "I don't intend any disrespect, I just had to go," he said clearly. I had assumed he would be stumbling drunk to expose himself at dusk to all of the Mission, but while he was intoxicated on something, he was pretty coherent.

"No offense taken, man." I mean, what am I going to say? The deed is done, the pavement watered, the cock shot finished.

He extends his right hand—yes, he had used the left one— for a handshake. "I'm Gabriel." He's got an honest looking face. Not unattractive, for somebody who was just pissing in the gutter.

I shake his hand. "Casey. Nice to meet you."

"What kind of music do you listen to, Casey?"

I think for a second about who he's looking at and give him the easy answer. "Well, I listen to a lot of stuff, but especially Goth and Alternative."

He smiles and makes some comment that I don't really hear and don't really remember, as he has put his arms out and obviously wants to give me a hug. Inexplicably, I let him and hug back. He gives me a big bristly smooch on the cheek. "Thanks, man, have a good night." I tell him to do the same, and he starts heading back towards Mission. And I walk on for a few blocks with half a hard-on.

Not because he inadvertantly flashed his dick at me, although it wouldn't have been the same exchange without that element. I think the fact it was all in public, on the street; that transgressive fact made it all the more erotically charged when in reality, although it was odd, it was not a particularly sexual moment. But Adrenaline and Testosterone together make a mighty tasty (and familiar) cocktail.