05/09/2003 Entry: "Adult Entertainment Is Wherever You Find It."

I've been secretly seeing a strange man late at night. He's 6'2", 230 lbs., muscular, tattooed, with a little soul patch. He appears before me dressed in nothing but spandex shorts, short boots, and kneepads. I lay on the futon and let him do wild, crazy things with his body, and after I've played with him and scored, he's left bleeding and sweaty but ready for more.

His biggest turn-on is the Start button.

Basically, I've created a gay male version of BMXXX out of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. Call it "Chicken Hawk Pr0n Skater." Is it bad that I'm motivated to play because he's pleasant to look at, or is that any worse than straight guys watching Lara Croft? Is it narcissistic of me that I've given this sexpot character my own name, or can I claim that's a practical matter, like writing your name on the memory card?

All right, maybe it is perverted of me to put him in the skimpiest outfit I could posssibly create. I can accept that. At least he's over the age of consent. Besides, there's no "skate naked" setting that I've found. Yet.

(Nor is there a hairy chest option either, which I guess means that bears don't skate. Who knew?)

(Related link: Omigod, check out these gorgeous screenshots for The Sims 2. Though it will be years before the Mac sees this (if ever), I'll be lusting after it if the actual release version looks this good. Though I'm not sure if the game will be quite the same if all the objects look like they're in a catalog instead of in their weird isometric perspective.)

Replies: One Comment

I've now seen Casey's skating avatara.

Oh my. Oh dear. Oh I think I'm getting this game.

Posted by Jason @ 05/16/2003 02:03 AM PST