05/22/2003 Entry: "Next Time I'll Make Tea."

You know, the soy jerky sounded like a good idea at the time. It landed in my basket in a rush of childhood nostalgia, remembering summer bike rides to the deli on the corner for snacks and "suicide" sodas.

It had a decent flavor, anyway. The "pepper-style" was certainly black-pepper-hot enough. But there's a reason they only show you the package on their website: it's not the most attractive item on the shelf. But after you've been a vegetarian long enough, you've tried a lot of things that might not look so good but are, in fact, pretty tasty.

No, the real reason I'm not sure I'll buy more is this: the one and only time I ever tried psychedelic mushrooms, the texture was identical. And there's a reason why I only tried mushrooms once: the very long, paranoid walk to a friend's house in leave-nothing-to-the-imagination short-shorts when I could no longer keep calm at the club. Not one of my finer moments, to be sure.

So basically, for about an hour after snacktime, I kept worrying that the soy jerky was going to kick in. And then felt disappointed when it didn't. Maybe I'll stick to the Pirate's Booty instead.

Replies: One Comment

Wow. I'll bet that was an adventure. I know all about the soy-stuff, and boy-oh-boy how wretched it all is. At times... maybe. But over other foods, not a chance. Just remember: as long as it doesn't contain the word "barbecue" you're safe.

Posted by Hankis V @ 05/27/2003 07:55 PM PST