06/04/2003 Entry: "It Takes A Big Gun To Hunt Houses."

On Friday at work we ordered food in and took a very long lunch. We discussed what we were doing over the weekend. Turned out that three of us were looking at houses to buy and the fourth was selling theirs and closing on a new one. Must be something in the air conditioning.

The Boyfriend has taken me looking at open houses the past couple weekends, so that I can get some idea of what the market is like. We saw a loft that Matt's business partner was showing; we saw stand-alone houses on Portrero hill; we saw massive million-dollar homes that we wanted to see since, well, they were open. It's kind of fun seeing other people's houses. One place had a bedroom in the garage, with a picture window facing the cars. There was an attached bathroom with a three-foot-high entrance to a full-size stand-up shower; midgets might fit through there, but they wouldn't be able to reach the spigot once they got there. We also looked at a million-dollar loft space. Gorgeous, sure, but the space was far cooler than I am. I have neither the pecs nor the payments.

I don't think I'm seriously considering buying property anytime soon. I'm not even sure that I want to own a home. But it seems like that's the "smart investment." I keep hearing that now's the time to get a loan. I love the expression: "Money's cheap." But the idea of being hundreds of thousands in debt scares the piss right out of me. That wet spot doesn't do much to impress loan officers, either. Besides, what happens when the housing bubble bursts? I wouldn't want to be the schlamazel who makes the market do a faceplant.

And once I bought, suddenly everything would be changed. I'd no longer be a carefree renter. If it broke, I'd have to fix it. Would I be living alone, since that's probably all the space (think: cardboard box) I could afford? Or would I buy with The Boyfriend, and how much like getting married would that feel like? (And is that a bad thing, either?) As I told Vince the other night, I'm just starting to contemplate wearing colors in public again; can't I negotiate one lifestyle change at a time?

But that's all small stuff, really. The biggest issue is finally having to answer the question, What do I want? It's easy to want someone else to be happy, or to want to keep things status quo. But saying—in fact, even just knowing—what it is that I want for myself? That's a whole different kind of committment...to myself. Still working on that one.

Replies: 3 comments

Darling, Start with what it is you don't want. Then you can go on to what you do. It is the only way I ever get even a hint of it.

No matter what you choose, I will still come visit and play animal crossing.

Posted by sillynun @ 06/04/2003 10:44 PM PST

please let me know how you finally achieve this goal. I feel the same way, and I'll try blogdaddy's suggestion, but I also realize it's rather fun not having a clue what I want.
:)

Posted by bub @ 06/06/2003 07:58 AM PST

My partner plays Animal Crossing, too, which I think is the gayest game I've ever come across. He gets way too excited when he buys a new shirt, and then gets to spin around and show it off.

That said, there are some sick and twisted houses out there. Oh the horror stories... One of my favorites was a tiny cottage in Noe Valley that was falling off the hill and had rooms big enough for dwarves... I don't think the "bedroom" could even fit a twin bed...

Posted by Matt @ 06/09/2003 02:30 PM PST