What I didn't realize was that she was bringing a seven layer fudge-lined chocolate cake that you literally had to strain to lift. It's intimidating all the other food in the fridge. You'll notice that the large pastry box it came in wasn't large enough; the lid wouldn't close over the top of the thing.The plastic wrap is there merely to protect other objects from becoming embedded within the half-inch of frosting on the top. The bakery conveniently scored slice marks on the top in sizes that, if served like that, would cause small children to begin to shake until they burst.

But I understand why she picked it; I think the same way. When you're giving to someone else, if some is good, more is better. There's not a cake on earth that has enough layers in it to show how much she loves me, but she'll try. (Plus I think she really likes seeing the shocked look on my face when she outdoes herself.)

However, if I try to finish this thing myself, instead of bringing a bigger cake next year, she may have to give me the gift of bigger pants. So if anyone in the SOMA area is interested in a piece of cake, please feel free to stop by. Soon.