07/02/2004 Entry: "Sociopaths I Have Known, By Kiki DuRane."

"The saddest day in my life was the day John Hinckley missed."
-Kiki DuRane

My theory is that when you come across a large amount of crazy (or if you prefer, crayjee) in the world, a little bit of crazy comes loose and starts following you around. (At least, that may be what my mother thought when I was born.)

With that in mind, I don't know what exactly was unleashed last night at the Kiki and Herb concert, but it appears to have gotten on me. I can only imagine how much crazy got all over the people in the seats that Kiki crawled on, nor how much those who were forced to lick her accidently ingested. I found myself suddenly a little glad that I had to stand through all three hours, as it put me out of the range of the microphone cord. But if the blast didn't get you, there was the fallout. It gets in there and affects your thinking.

This morning I found Frank Chiu standing with his sign outside of the coffee stand. Normally I only see him walking from place to place, but today he merely stood there, close to the basket of danishes. I'm not sure if he was provoked, but he suddenly began spouting off loudly about his usual stuff. "Presidents Bush Clinton Reagan Nixon Kennedy communicates with Hollywood and the Twelve Galaxies ah. Hypnotronic connectivity regresses back seven generations ah." I had to struggle past him while a woman in line tried to engage him in rational discourse about what he'd just said. How can you be rational about the 12 galaxies? How can you be rational before your morning coffee? Excuse me, but I just want my ultratronic coffee, Frank. It's nine-thirty and already I need a drink.

I went upstairs feeling a little rattled, and started deleting mail from all my friends: Narrowness Q. Bristle, Husbanded H. Allegory, Rhapsody U. Snubs, Suturing A. Idiosyncrasies. I stopped and opened one of the messages. I read the random text in there above the link to the offshort pharmacy and it suddenly occurred to me...maybe Frank Chiu is the one who writes all that spam email?

That would explain a lot.

Replies: 2 comments

There are days when I think Frank may be the only one who really knows the score.

Posted by Huntington @ 07/02/2004 08:03 PM PST

What better proof that you are a friscan--who knew.

Posted by Britney Spears @ 07/06/2004 09:06 AM PST