03/07/2006 Entry: "Just Wait Until Daddy Gets Home."

What can you do with a 20-year-old gay boy staying in your house?

No, not like that, you pervs. One of The Boyfriend's nephews has come out to visit, especially since he "came out" earlier this year. We're doing our best to find things to do with him that straddle the line between parental and decadent. Normally I have a bunch of things to show visitors—particularly drunken pub crawls and tours of filthy places that I don't go to anymore but remember fondly. But this is a "kid" I saw graduate from High School. The Alley Sex Walking Tour doesn't seem like a good "family" activity, you know?

Besides, let's face facts: we're boring, what with our jobs and mortgage and TV and MMORPGs. And it's been a long time since I've seen 20. While we have tried to find things that a not-yet-legal-in-bars gay boy might find interesting, I'm sure we've been slightly under-exciting. I'm sure our trip to look at hardwood floors was the highlight of his visit; I can only imagine what he's texted to his friends. ("omg, im so ovr brzlln chrry.") But with a slight injury making walking long distances difficult for him, it's been even rougher to find entertainment.

But it's not like we have a child in the house; he's proved himself perfectly capable of meeting people and going out to enjoy the nightlife. Unfortunately it's also unearthed a vein of fatherliness¹ in me that I ordinarily try to keep supressed. He was fine with me giving him a check-in call in case he needed an excuse to leave, but I'll be damned if I didn't lie there awake for a short while after I went to bed, kind of hoping to hear him unlock the front door.

One of the responsibilites of being the Gay Uncles is having to pay for dinners out. I mean, there are worse things. But it's hard finding a place to go, especially when the young'n has no opinions about food. (Plenty of other opinions, much to my discomfort, just not so much on entertainment or dining.) A Friend² will be joining us tonight, and suggested that he wanted to eat somewhere "surprising." Not sure what that means. Perhaps we'll let them gawk at "Gender Illusionists"³, or gawk at cute waiters in the Castro or just gawk at the prospect of eating with their hands. Hard to say.

As long as he finishes his plate and eats his vegetables.

¹ Or Motherliness, I'm comfortable with that. It really seems somehow more paternal to me, but whatever, Mary.
² Euphemism.
³ I'm a little unsure if the average twinkie 20-year-old would find this place amusing, or amusing for bad reasons, or just mortifying. Besides, Gender Illusionist is just a scary term. ("Watch me pull a vagina out of my hat!" "Again?")

Replies: 6 comments

Look at the bright side: at his age, having to breastfeed him is not an issue.

Posted by Jhames @ 03/08/2006 11:18 AM PST

Unless he asks you to, Jhames...

Posted by Huntington @ 03/08/2006 12:39 AM PST

I'm still recovering from you taking Giga and I to that bar back in 2004.

And I was 34 years old!!!

(Though I did love the tapas joint and well, we did end up with the Tub O' Lube that trip!)

Posted by Nala @ 03/09/2006 11:20 AM PST

"Giga and me"!!!

Grrr... my online grammar skills have declined.

Sucks the balls nasty I tell ya!

Posted by Nala @ 03/09/2006 11:21 AM PST

Casey, you're adorable. Especially when pulling a vagina out of your hat, that's one of your best tricks.

Posted by Aaron @ 03/11/2006 07:31 AM PST

HA! There's always Trannyshack.

Posted by Giga @ 03/14/2006 04:56 PM PST