Ultramundane.com -- It's Just Not Natural.

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United States, California, San Francisco, The Mission, English, Spanish, Casey, Male, 31-35.

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Saturday, May 1, 2004

They Move Fast. (So Do The Horses.)

Last week I had a credit check and signed to apply for a mortgage. About 7 days later I received four credit card applications in the mail. I'm not saying these events are connected, mind you, but about how long does it take to deliver US Domestic Bulk Mail? About 7-10 days? They didn't waste any time.

(Related: Did you get a Shrek 2 postmark (scroll down to the bottom for it) on any of your letters? I screamed. Jeffrey Katzenberg, get out of my mailbox!)

Could be worse—Equifax could have given my credit reports to criminals. (Criminals, of course, are individuals or groups of poor people who do bad things. When groups of rich people do bad things, they call it a Corporation.)

I have to count my blessings; for instance, riders in the Kentucky Derby can wear advertising patches this year. What a relief! I'm hoping soon we'll see the horses done up NASCAR style, with corporate sponsors on every body part, painted or shaved into their coats. The fast ones will have "VALVOLINE" or "BUDWEISER" (Or possibly "GUINNESS") on the side. The slow ones might get "ALPO" or "ELMER'S GLUE" as inspiration to run faster. (It was pointed out that some Fark photoshop folks had some ideas like mine.)

Of course, it's probably a little hypocritical of me to complain, since I make my living in advertising. [Shrug] Some days it just bothers me more than others. Some days and in some places, I think advertising is fine, or at least tolerable. I've resigned myself to the fact that anyplace we (as a people) can make a few bucks, we'll try to. And today—as long as I have a steady supply of Mint Juleps—I'll do my best not to mind.

12:56 AM PST (link)

Friday, April 30, 2004

I'm Ready For My Close-Up, Mr. Rodriguez!

I had two sales guys separately come by to give me a high-five over the latest presentation we did for them. They're late for National High-Five Day, so I guess that means we did a good job. I dunno. Sheesh, straight guys are so obtuse! Personally, I think either large denominations or small batches say it best.

My Queer Eye Hip-Tip: Bribe The Homosexual. I'll bet Jai would approve, don't you think?

04:29 PM PST (link)

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Professional Etiquette Question #53.

Is it really unprofessional to put your head down on the desk and sob uncontrollably?

What if you're in your department's status meeting at the time?

Update: What if it's 11pm and you're still at work?

12:44 AM PST (link)

Sunday, April 25, 2004

You're Gonna Make It After All.

If the fourth of four flash files I'm modifying won't open at 11:30pm on a Sunday, I will assume that's a sign that I shouldn't be working on it any more today anyway. I think the ads are as ready as they're going to be; I'm feeling good about them, even if I'm sick of looking at them.

I've been in motion of one kind or another all weekend; making clean clothes on Friday; making ads, making myself delightfully sweaty [aerobics in 80 degree weather (80? in April!?) will do that to ya] and making myself at home in my silky PJs and getting nicely lit at MJ's birthday party on Saturday; making ads and vacation plans and sweet, sweet love and food for a barbecue (where I got nicely lit again) and just for fun some more ads today. (Did I mention that I've been busy working on some ads?)

But despite all this activity, the house is still a mess, I still have things on my to-do list, and I should probably climb into bed before my eyes rebel and fall out of their sockets. But really I want to take this little bit of time I have and go fight dark elves on the Playstation. And if I don't want to go to bed yet, you can't make me.

11:55 PM PST (link)