Ultramundane.com -- It's Just Not Natural.

Current Playlist

This is my blogchalk:
United States, California, San Francisco, The Mission, English, Spanish, Casey, Male, 31-35.

GeoURL
Who Links Here

Friday, June 17, 2005

I Claim This Sidewalk In The Name Of Me!

"Beep Beep!"

I knew immediately what was happening; I had seen her friend ride off the sidewalk into a lane of oncoming traffic, and pick her way back between parked cars to get to the shopping center's entrance. (The only pedestrian walkway in, I might note.) I intended to ignore the woman riding her bicycle on the sidewalk behind us, certainly until she used actual words instead of pretending she was a car.

We kept walking. Eventually she squeezed between me and the wall and said something like, "Hey, thanks for moving out of my way."

"Well, don't ride your bicycle on the sidewalk." Not sure whether The Boyfriend or I said it first...and I don't remember exactly who said what, as it all goes a little red when I think about it, but I think I snapped a little. At least I refrained from using profanity, as I didn't think it would have helped my case. But words were exchanged. While I feel for the challenge of riding a bicycle in the city, I also don't take well to self-righteous asses who feel entitled to do what they like on a public sidewalk. We expressed as much, and she turned to cycle down the sidewalk in front of Trader Joe's saying, "Go see a therapist. You guys need some tissues for your issues."

I couldn't help but laugh. Somebody was stuck in third grade, and I'm not sure which one of us was pulling the other one back there with juvenile name calling and rules mongering. And since I've been dwelling on it for the past week, yes, maybe I do have some unresolved anger to work on around self-entitlement.

On the other hand, she was clearly being a bitch.

It's been difficult lately to tell what's just me being bitchy and what's seriously making me angry. Thinking about the sense of entitlement and consequently trying to consider what I consider my own entitlements tends to leave me a little testy in general. I have resisted the urge to flame several people on the gay gamers bulletin board in posts demanding free music or a boyfriend or a company to produce games their way. I don't usually participate in flame wars...normally I am the peacemaker, the one who is diplomatic to a fault, the one who tries to give both sides measured consideration and equal time. And you know what they say about arguing on the Internet. But it feels I have been down to my last nerve lately and people everywhere keep stepping on it.

There have been one or two moments at work this past week where I considered taking someone's project and literally throwing it at them. Here, if you want it done precisely to your specifications, why don't you sit your ass in front of the monitor and do it yourself? [Crash! Thud!] I have, thankfully, restrained myself. They don't owe me anything if I don't produce. Or more to the point, we have responsibilities to each other: my work for their paycheck. But the social contract has to work both ways. When it doesn't, you get Tyco and Enron.

The world may not owe me anything besides our basic rights (and considering the abuses heaped upon those might be another source of my anger this week); neither do I necessarily owe the world anything in return. That's no reason to devolve back into that self-centered third-grader who wants his toys now and will scream like Veruca Salt if he doesn't get them. But some days, it feels a little like we're the odd ones out who believe this. I don't know that we're entitled to a world without carelessness and selfishness but I do think we need to live like it, at least if we want to stop it from spreading further in our laws, our politics and our culture in general.

On the other hand, maybe I'm just being a bitch.

07:01 PM PST (link)