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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

A Little Spritz'll Do Ya.

Every time I walk into the restroom here at work, the automatic air freshener goes off. I'm trying not to take it personally, but am still wondering if I should change my deodorant and/or eat more fiber.

10:08 AM PST (link)

Monday, October 4, 2004

Is Debaucherous A Word? If Not, It Is Now!

(Better posting late than never.) The Folsom Street Fair was great fun this year. No great fan of crowds were any of us, but our entire group had a great and debaucherous time. For 2005's event, however, I have a few choice pieces of advice for the novice and veteran alike to keep in mind:

1. Buy at least one drink from the sponsored booths out in the Fair proper. I had meant to stop by the Rodeo beer booth to see some friends of mine, but I must have heard their location wrong from Miss Anita; we only got as far as the Golden Gate Wresting Club's booth before we were too thirsty. (And distracted...Mmm, singlets!) The Hurricanes they served us, however, were mostly mixer and slightly warm. I know that description reads like I should offer the opposite advice, but its crucial to note that: A. Proceeds from the concessions sales go to charity, so you really ought to spend the money—you're doing your part to help; and B. when you finally get a real cocktail by quickly squeezing into the Powerhouse, you'll appreciate it a whole lot more.

2. Though it seems like a good idea, it's not any cooler inside than it is outside. When I say we squeezed into the Powerhouse, I meant it literally. You may be out of the sun, but you'll still have sweaty muscular male bodies pressing on you from every direction. This is both a positive and a negative, as you might imagine. But when said sweaty muscular boys say they're just in here "to escape the heat" you should feel free to call bullshit.

3. It's definitely worth it to take cool gay boys from Ohio. You know perfectly well that they're capable of getting into trouble on their own. But being able to pretend that you're leading "innocent midwestern boys" into the pansexual fracas of kink is a real kick. We didn't see enough public sex for what they were expecting, but it felt really good to be able to procure just about any kind of decadence they asked about. Cocktails? Floggings? Cockrings? Men in "Fruit Stripe Gum" Zebra costumes? Like Prego™, it's in there.™

4. Speaking of stripes...When someone wears rubber boots with a yellow stripe on them, they're not doing so because they like how it goes with their eyes. And when two gather together, do not stand downhill from them unless you intended to join in.

5. Don't bother taking pictures of the Big Dick Contest. I held my camera up over my head to take pictures of the Big Dick Contest and got pictures of all the people in front of me holding their cameras up right in front of the relevant parts. It was more like the Big Camera Contest. Either stake your claim early or bring stilts. The Boyfriend suggested focusing your camera on the LCD screen of the person in front of you instead. Sure, it's a little meta, but it might just work.

06:59 PM PST (link)