Ultramundane.com -- It's Just Not Natural.

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United States, California, San Francisco, The Mission, English, Spanish, Casey, Male, 31-35.

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Friday, October 31, 2003

I've Been A Bad Fae; Please Don't Take My Picture.

Okay, so not only did I get pictures of me, so did a Chronicle photographer on the subway. Eek: I hope he photoshops out the pimples that appeared yesterday on my upper lip, or else there's going to be something very scary on their Halloween photos page. "Going to the Castro?" he asked. No, just getting home from work. "You must have a great job," another rider offered.

OK, perhaps it is a little strange that amidst all the people rushing home in street clothes to put on their costumes, I was the one going home to change out of costume into my street clothes. It's a reverse commute.

Two more shots from today:
• Faerie face (Thank goddess for Photoshop.)
• It's the Graphics Faerie!

I do regret not having a camera when the guy who works at the coffee house, dressed today as a flasher, opened his trenchcoat and flashed me; "Happy Halloween" was written in black just above his black bikini briefs. Now that would have been a worthy photo op.

08:40 PM PST (link)

Have You A Little Faerie In Your Home?

Or have you a little Faerie in your workplace? There's something very satisfying about walking down the hallways here in pink and white, my petticoats and wings rustling as I pass by. I go over to the coffee machine and wave my wand; "Faerie coffee kinda sucks," I tell a bemused passerby, "It's all instant." Someone tells me they like my costume. "What costume?" I say, tilting my tiara at them.

I'd like to apologize in advance, because I simply cannot get enough of that joke.

There aren't a lot of people in costume at work this year, no, but I did grin at some clown on the train this morning. I was whistled at by two construction workers, one of whom asked me to "do a little twirl" for him. I was operating on a pre-coffee level, so I had no good response to that. Besides, I was loaded down with all my accessories in my hands and wearing a coat, so it wouldn't have done much good anyway.

But my favorite reaction whenever I'm in costume is always the people who don't see me. Sometimes I catch them looking and they quickly look away, unwilling to acknowledge my existance. That's one of the great things about Halloween; even the somewhat shy, like me, have permission to mess with people's minds in (not-so-)subtle ways. Yes, some days we all want to point a big red angry middle finger at the world; today I'm reminded that it also works just as nicely in a light shade of pink.

(I forgot the cable for my camera, but pictures are forthcoming.)

01:27 PM PST (link)

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Flat As A Board.

I had a difficult time getting all the way through my blogroll tonight. I was up early for a 6 hour meeting, after being up late last night printing out signs and certificates and making Halloween playlists for a fundraising event we put on for our company. Coming with a sore, flat ass from two three-hour sessions in hard plastic chairs, we ran like maniacs to serve beer, sell raffle tickets, and facilitate a pumpkin carving contest. We made a couple thousand dollars for a local charity, so at least I feel a little bit accomplished today. But by this time in the evening I'm just pooped and just want to...

...go screaming down the side of a mountain. I am so predictable sometimes.

Boyfriend suggested that maybe we should go try the real thing sometime this winter. I gave him That Look, the one that usually follows most suggestions involving athletic activities. As I understand it, snowboarding in real life would basically be 1. strapping a piece of wood on my feet and 2. falling over. The only flips I'd be doing would be ass over teakettle down the bunny slope. Plus, yo, it's cold out there. You wonder why I prefer the virtual version?

Then again, I do look nice in ski sweaters, and I am certainly qualified to drink Kalua & Coffee in the bar at the lodge. Maybe we could make arrangements. Maybe they have a TV I can plug into.

11:34 PM PST (link)

Monday, October 27, 2003

Layers Of Love, Folds Of Fondness.

My parents came to visit this weekend to bring me a birthday present and go to lunch. My mother said she would bring a cake. Like she does.

What I didn't realize was that she was bringing a seven layer fudge-lined chocolate cake that you literally had to strain to lift. It's intimidating all the other food in the fridge. You'll notice that the large pastry box it came in wasn't large enough; the lid wouldn't close over the top of the thing.The plastic wrap is there merely to protect other objects from becoming embedded within the half-inch of frosting on the top. The bakery conveniently scored slice marks on the top in sizes that, if served like that, would cause small children to begin to shake until they burst.

But I understand why she picked it; I think the same way. When you're giving to someone else, if some is good, more is better. There's not a cake on earth that has enough layers in it to show how much she loves me, but she'll try. (Plus I think she really likes seeing the shocked look on my face when she outdoes herself.)

However, if I try to finish this thing myself, instead of bringing a bigger cake next year, she may have to give me the gift of bigger pants. So if anyone in the SOMA area is interested in a piece of cake, please feel free to stop by. Soon.

11:42 PM PST (link)

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Hurry My Tray, Darling; Your Auntie Needs Fuel.

My confession: Friday night I consumed a vodka "Martini." It was a party at some friends' store, and they didn't have gin. I know, I've referred to the cocktail as an "abomination" before; obviously the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.

So when the Boyfriend fixed a few mean G&T's to enjoy in the strangly warm October night this weekend, I gratefully came back to the juniper berry fold. But the cocktails took their revenge on my head for my infidelity the night before. This time, the spirits were clearly stronger than the flesh. "Run along to Ito and tell him to bring me a light breakfast—black coffee and a Monkey Gland. Oh, oh, and a cold towel for your Auntie Vera."

(Actually, the Monkey Gland sounds rather tasty. And Chuck recently posted the Aviaton, another handsome cocktail. Anyone have any other recommendations for good gin mixables?)

08:24 PM PST (link)